What’s there in a name?

Its Friday again, and am surprisingly almost on time!

So I decide to go conventional and start with a ‘saying’ like my able Primary English teacher taught me.

Guti riitwa ritikuria mwana

That’s a Meru colloquial dictum that loosely translates to “there’s no name that can’t raise a child”.

Quite true, right? Unless you have those kind of names that making a short form out of is quite impractical that the sound of it is traumatizing enough to make you stick to the original. Like his dude we went to school with called Kiambati!

Even worse is if you were unlucky to bear the name of an animal. Following proven wisdom of traditions, your parents (or whoever named you) decided to ward off the evil spirits of infant mortality and tactifully named you after the ugliest animal they had in mind or fate had it that your surname is exactly that. So when you introduce yourself in a group, especially if they know what it means your name not unforgettable. Coincidence could also have it that you actually hae traits (physical or behavioural) that rhyme with the animal, like this young gal whose surname was Ngurwe (Pig), and she was really plump and pale that calling her that was enough insult at primary school, you didn’t need to elaborate on her conspicuous appetite.

Or were you that kid that nobody knew their real name since you had a horde of nicknames? Nasty ones for that matter. Maybe you mispronounced a word while leading out aloud a comprehension like say, “tsetse fly”, or its close relative “trypanosomiasis” and a host of many other reasons. You detested them, they didn’t define you, but the more you cringed you face at them, the more they stuck, or even worse they evolved and the bullies enjoyed every moment of it.

I had one that I inherited from my brother which I seriously hated. It was derived from his silky, Cushitic hair that rarely Bantus have. So they called him Msomali (a Somali), quite a fair label and definitely harmless today but then it almost brought me to tears (it actually did!). They sniggered at how we apparently used to drink raw blood from all kinds of animals. One boy during a visiting literally came to check if my mom had brought me some raw meat from home!

But I bet you were one of those kids who got normal names that you easily turned into some cool, almost-English short-forms. Like Kimathi, who proudly calls himself Kim.

Mark you am talking about our real names, African names, not those imposed by the clever Christian missionaries who ensured that they came first.

Even truer is that your name borrowed from some famous sportsperson (a rally driver maybe), a president or some movie character, like Rodger, Ian, Williamson, or just plain fancy like Valentine, Alex or Kimberly and Sheila. You were proud, it stood out and everyone remembered you.

You might have even got a notch higher and invented a real catchy pseudonym and introduced yourself as such with pride. Like this dude called Guantai who was only known as “G”, there was much speculation over his name and he liked it. Even the principal at the time of his expulsion borrowed from the name labelling him a ‘Gangster’.

All this sounds vain, right? just a façade to raise esteem and on the flip side naïve under-appreciation of real-self and mostly childish temperament which most people outgrow later in life and inadvertently prove the Meru saying right.

But is it? What of a name like Blackberry, Samsung, Iphone or even Omo? Don’t they immediately trigger thoughts of exclusivity, quality and style? Or at least high recall? It might not be intrinsic to the name itself, but really Tecno, Gental and Acma don’t evoke the same feeling.

What if Samsung was say, “Pinksam” and Blackberry “YellowCherry”? Would they be as famous? Most probably yes. But probably it would have taken a many quite more number of years to reach the level of success they have. So careful choice of a name is important to create favourable perceptions on people’s minds towards the person or brand.

So perhaps that why a neighbor of mine named her daughter Melody! and some colleague named her son Denzel, then from now on address me as ‘GT’.

Interestingly, Obama, a very dull name which probably none of you knows what it means, is arguably the only human name in Kenya that has businesses and products (in fact a beer) named after it. I guess the Ondiekis (Hyena), Mbogos (Buffalo) Nchooros (Baboon), Njogus (Elephant) Kirais (Monkey) of this world are envious.

What’s your Name? Type it down here and let’s see how it makes us feel…

Or you agree, it’s just a name?

Yes, Betrayer of Hope. So have men named me, just as they named you Dragon, but unlike you I embrace the name. They gave me the name to revile me, but I will yet make them kneel ad worship it. - Robert Jordan, The Dragon Reborn