A Letter to my deceitful friend

Dear Friend, 

I met you in high school, although I had heard a lot about you as I grew up. They had mixed feelings about you which even made you more intriguing. My teacher was really against you and some of us had already developed fear.

High school brought a new leash of freedom to me, this included freedom of thought and perception. At that time I developed strong opinions about almost every other thing that previously had been monopolized by parents and religion. And it felt so good! I was becoming quite open-minded.

That is when I decided to approach you. At first it was not easy, some of my peers had already hit it off with you and they made every effort to flaunt their daringness. I was envious they were having a good time and no one knew about it.

But you made it even worse for me, when I tried you made me feel like dirt. Everything felt so wrong and I was in guilt. However I kept appearances, the exploit you presented was worth breaking a norm or two, or so I thought.

Eventually I blended in well and you showed me how to belong. We really became tight and even my newly found friends would mention you a lot in our conversations. I knew I could count on you and the few friends who confided in you kept you as a well-guarded secret lest someone got a whiff of you as we hurriedly interacted.

Our escapades were many even after high school, I got friends to like you and you also judged who I interacted with. Those weekend parties you were largely involved and on the balcony you always topped up after the drinks were finished. We coughed occasionally but your charms were so profound that we didn’t mind.

Teenagers learning how to smoke in a college dorm

I invoked your noble wisdom when I was in tricky situations. Of course I had to pay for transport but your presence superseded. Like when my house was broken into we sat for hours pondering. Or when my relationship with whatever her name was hit the wall, you were there for me. Anger management was your specialty and I relied on your prescription to keep cool.

But then I started having doubts about you. For a wrong time I kept convincing myself I was wrong, you were as nice to the rest as you were to me. Worse still you broke our deal many times and every time I needed you more it cost me even more. I had to have you every day even it meant lying to get some money for you. You allowed installments that cheated me the whole cost wouldn’t hurt.....

Some of my peers started querying our relationship. I would enthusiastically explain the dynamics and the mutual benefits, though with time the enthusiasm was waning. Our open relationship was becoming more open than anticipated.

The last three years I have contemplated leaving you a zillion times. Every time, I come running back like that homeless dog barking incoherent apologies.  I remember for six months I avoided you, not even once had I thought about you, and then you show one day with a friend and all those memories flooded back like it was yesterday. You were irresistible and I fell for you again.

You are such a selfish and domineering friend, that I must say. Even in my absence you still spice up my friends’ parties and make new friends everyday who flaunt their new found love at me. We share you and you don’t seem to care!

This cough I am battling, I can only imagine what it’s doing to me inside. From where you got it, I don’t know, but I know you harbor so much of it by now and you will continue pumping it out to my poor friends who still care about you.

Am planning my revenge on you, and don’t think you can soothe me anymore. You treachery and allure cannot work on me anymore.

Goodbye Cigarette!